Yesterday was our attempt at communism.
As soon as I mentioned what kind of government we would have, my 8yo became very depressed. Later he told me all of the images he had of an oppressed society. He didn't settle down till I announced our communism day was over at 10:30. I realized how much he values his freedom. The other two kids, 6 & 4, went along with it since they realized it was all pretend. My 6yo was a really good worker, saying that since he watched so much TV the day before he knew he needed to work.
I realized I'm too soft to ever be a dictator. I also realized how much my 8yo is understanding about freedom and the different governments we've talked about. Lately he's been very interested in nations and slavery and oppressed people and how does that all happen. How do the people let others rule them like that? This all hit that home nicely. I think I could definitely do this again sometime, imitating other forms of government like socialism, monarchy/aristocracy, etc.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Anarchy
Thursday was our day of anarchy. I set up a few rules:
1. Do what you want to do when you want to do it.
2. If you break it, you buy it.
3. Be safe.
4. No one is in charge.
The kids ate a bunch of granola bars all day and played a lot of Wii and watched some TV. The house stayed quite clean considering there was no one doing anything to clean it. I enjoyed a one hour work out and a couple of hours reading a book. At the end of the day, though, we all acknowledged feeling very lazy, not energetic, and a couple of the kids admitted to having a TV headache.
But my 6yo told his grandma that it was the best day ever.
One thing I learned is that my kids are pretty good at governing themselves. I sure like knowing I can trust that!
1. Do what you want to do when you want to do it.
2. If you break it, you buy it.
3. Be safe.
4. No one is in charge.
The kids ate a bunch of granola bars all day and played a lot of Wii and watched some TV. The house stayed quite clean considering there was no one doing anything to clean it. I enjoyed a one hour work out and a couple of hours reading a book. At the end of the day, though, we all acknowledged feeling very lazy, not energetic, and a couple of the kids admitted to having a TV headache.
But my 6yo told his grandma that it was the best day ever.
One thing I learned is that my kids are pretty good at governing themselves. I sure like knowing I can trust that!
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Freedom Test: Democracy
My kids are always saying, "But I don't ever get to do what I want to do."
So last week, we talked about how real freedom requires responsibility and thinking of others. And since then, I've reminded them a lot that sometimes we don't have the freedom to do what we want to but we still have the freedom to choose how we feel/think about it. aka...complain or be happy.
They still don't get it.
So I decided to do a Freedom Test. Over the next few days, our home will mimic 4 types of government. Democracy, Anarchy, Tyranny/Communism (I haven't decided which one yet), and the Kingdom of God approach (Pre-determined commandments and blessings/consequences, but the use of agency).
Today was Democracy day. We voted on lots of things. Majority ruled. Offenses and injuries were brought before a judge.
Main things we learned:
I better understand why it takes an educated people to understand Democracy. It's a complicated system.
When I got out of the shower, the kids were reading books or "working" (my 4yo daughter) in workbooks. Instead of starting the school day with me telling them what to do, I decided that I didn't need to suggest a law when it was already being obeyed. So I just sat on the couch and followed their lead. I listened as my 8yo showed me pictures and read me stuff from a book about Egypt. I resisted the temptation to tell them what to do next. When they were done reading, I let them vote on whether they wanted to play or do a learning activity. My 6yo asked if they could do a learning activity on the computer. I told them that they could if they voted for it. Majority ruled. They did math games on the computer until lunch time. And they got along with each other.
After lunch was gymnastics. We had a surprise visit from Grandma and she spent the rest of the day with us. We only voted a few more times, and the kids spent the rest of the day playing with their cousins. But I did have them establish their own rules for Wii play. Which turned out to be very nice. I didn't hear the usual bickering that I hear when they play on the Wii.
My biggest Ah-ha. On the way to gymnastics, my 4yo and 6yo did not tease each other at all. They were talking nicely with each other. I think it's because I didn't stress them out this morning with always telling them what to do all the time and giving them the freedom to do good things. I also think it's because they were in charge of what they could do.
Tomorrow...Anarchy. I plan on sleeping in, getting in a full hour work-out, only fixing food for myself (and baby), only washing my own dishes, and catching up on some much-needed reading. As for the kids, we'll see what happens.
And the next day, Communism. I'll have to put everyone to work to fix what happens after a day of Anarchy. Plus, the pay won't be good at all.
So last week, we talked about how real freedom requires responsibility and thinking of others. And since then, I've reminded them a lot that sometimes we don't have the freedom to do what we want to but we still have the freedom to choose how we feel/think about it. aka...complain or be happy.
They still don't get it.
So I decided to do a Freedom Test. Over the next few days, our home will mimic 4 types of government. Democracy, Anarchy, Tyranny/Communism (I haven't decided which one yet), and the Kingdom of God approach (Pre-determined commandments and blessings/consequences, but the use of agency).
Today was Democracy day. We voted on lots of things. Majority ruled. Offenses and injuries were brought before a judge.
Main things we learned:
- The hardest worker is rewarded the most.
- Majority rules. If the majority chooses a rule/method, we all have to follow through with it even if it's not our preferred choice.
- We still have to take care of the poor and the weak.
- The penal system is complicated. When my son came to me with a complaint about his sister, I told him I would meet with him and her in 10 minutes to judge the situation. In the next 10 minutes, he asked what the punishment would be, he asked why I might not punish her, I suggested that he drop the charges and just work it out with her. I tried to explain it in terms an 8yo would understand. I tried to explain representatives, lawsuits, punishments based on precedent. In the end, I didn't have very many chances to have the kids judged...they behaved really well today. I was hoping for some major conflicts that would incur the wrath and punishments of a judge.
I better understand why it takes an educated people to understand Democracy. It's a complicated system.
When I got out of the shower, the kids were reading books or "working" (my 4yo daughter) in workbooks. Instead of starting the school day with me telling them what to do, I decided that I didn't need to suggest a law when it was already being obeyed. So I just sat on the couch and followed their lead. I listened as my 8yo showed me pictures and read me stuff from a book about Egypt. I resisted the temptation to tell them what to do next. When they were done reading, I let them vote on whether they wanted to play or do a learning activity. My 6yo asked if they could do a learning activity on the computer. I told them that they could if they voted for it. Majority ruled. They did math games on the computer until lunch time. And they got along with each other.
After lunch was gymnastics. We had a surprise visit from Grandma and she spent the rest of the day with us. We only voted a few more times, and the kids spent the rest of the day playing with their cousins. But I did have them establish their own rules for Wii play. Which turned out to be very nice. I didn't hear the usual bickering that I hear when they play on the Wii.
My biggest Ah-ha. On the way to gymnastics, my 4yo and 6yo did not tease each other at all. They were talking nicely with each other. I think it's because I didn't stress them out this morning with always telling them what to do all the time and giving them the freedom to do good things. I also think it's because they were in charge of what they could do.
Tomorrow...Anarchy. I plan on sleeping in, getting in a full hour work-out, only fixing food for myself (and baby), only washing my own dishes, and catching up on some much-needed reading. As for the kids, we'll see what happens.
And the next day, Communism. I'll have to put everyone to work to fix what happens after a day of Anarchy. Plus, the pay won't be good at all.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
A Learning Rich Environment
Years ago, I realized that having a learning rich environment was going to be an essential ingredient of my mothering and of my children's education. I think it's the foundation upon what I allow in the home and what I veto. It's also an attitude I have towards what kinds of things I encourage my kids to spend their time doing. For example, I try not to interrupt them when they are "practicing/playing" the piano even if they do have chores to do because I want them to develop their musical talents. We have several maps up in the house...the World and the US maps in the kitchen that frequently spawn geography discussions. We have book shelves everywhere, including in both of the kids' bedrooms. I used to keep the crayons and markers out of my oldest son's reach when he was little to avert messes, then I decided to make them more accessible to everyone. They're on the 4th shelf of the bookshelf so my baby doesn't get into them at will. My daughter gets them down daily to draw, color, or write. (Maybe that's why my oldest has an aversion to writing...I prohibited him free access to it when he was 3...). I try to be available to answer their questions. Sometimes I try to encourage the older one to find his own answers.
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| My house often looks this crazy! |
I try to say Yes to my kids. I so often tell them No, we can't do that right now--so it's really good when I tell them Yes. Usually it's something that creates a mess or requires a lot of me/time to make it happen. Lately, my 6yo has just been doing his own thing when I tell him Yes. Sometimes I just have to take a deep breath and allow him to do it his own way because I know it's ultimately good for him to try and succeed or try and fail on his own. He also is exercising his independence and leadership when he does that. My 4yo daughter will just do it anyway...so it's better when I give her permission so I don't have to scold her later.
I also try not to interrupt my children when they are doing "constructive" play...like pretend play and cooperative play and inventive/building play. Lately, I've been getting a little stingy about the types of toys I allow in the house. There are so many "junk" toys out there that don't encourage make believe play or interaction or invention/building and just make lots of messes, so I've been putting my foot down on those. And I've encouraged their Grandma's to get them toys and activities that encourage learning. We still get plenty of "junk" toys from birthday parties. But I try to limit what they bring home on their own. I think that helps.
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